"Newly Separated in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual
psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking,
smoking, p0rn0graphy, and self-righteous indignation. I can't stand
movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's
Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter
by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and
chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 32 but
look 40 and feel 60.
You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement
and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile
when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if
you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take
it slow with me. My perfect night would include getting hammered in a
sh*t-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an
embarrassing screaming match.
I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with
regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into
booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any damned friends. Age
unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother
issues with women over 40. Serious replies only, please.
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